JessieHow I Met Your Mother
by Alexander Old
Summary: This fanfiction is a combination between the Disney channel TV show Jessie and the CBS TV show How I Met Your Mother.
1. Chapter 1

This fanfiction is a series of 1-shots to do with the TV shows Jessie and How I Met Your Mother and that will begin with this particular story.

On New Year's Day 2010 at 10.00 PM Jessie Prescott is sitting in a chair in her bedroom and she is smoking marijuana and thinking to herself about her situation.

Out of interest today is my 1st day when it comes to me being a nanny for a little lesbian called Emma but yet still I am getting high.

Anyways.

Then Jessie turned her head around and looked at a stupid looking man sitting in a chair next to her.

Then Jessie started talking to the man.

Who the fucking fuck are you?

My name is Ted Mosby and in my universe I was born in 1978 and I am an architect and in my universe I spend many years looking for the right woman and that is a concept that starts off funny and then seriously dragged on.

That is interesting and out of interest in my universe it is practically a running storyline that I have bad luck when it comes to love and dating and finding the right person and out of interest 1 day you will find the future mother of your children but not for some time and when it actually happens no 1 will be that interested in it.

That is very interesting information when it comes to my universe and the future mother of my children and in your case you will probably fuck the little lesbian called Emma and no 1 else.

That is a possibility.

A couple of minutes later Jessie is talking to a very tall man sitting in a chair next to her.

Who the fucking fuck are you?

My name is Marshall Eriksen and in my universe I am a lawyer and in the future I am going to be a judge and when it comes to me I am going to starts off funny and later mostly become boring and uninteresting and out of interest when it comes to you and your universe you are going to begin only being a minor character and later become the main character.

Everything you just said sounds completely correct.

That is the right idea.

A couple of minutes later Jessie is talking to a very sensible looking woman with black hair sitting in a chair next to her. Who the fucking fuck are you?

My name is Robin Scherbatsky and in my universe I am never interesting and I am always annoying and there is a storyline between me and Ted Mosby that is hit and miss when it actually comes to being interesting and out of interest in your universe there is going to be a 4-part storyline when you get a fiancé but that particular 4-part storyline does not go anywhere.

Something very similar happens to a TV show called Austin & Ally.

A couple of minutes later Jessie is talking to a small woman with ginger hair sitting in a chair next to her.

Who the fucking fuck are you?

My name is Lily Aldrin and I am the love interest/future wife of Marshall Eriksen and that particular storyline is mostly going to be uninteresting and out of interest in some way you are to do Debby Ryan someone with mixed reviews.

That sounds like something that should insult me but yet doesn't.

A couple of minutes later Jessie is talking to a skinny man wearing a suit sitting in a chair next to her.

Who the fucking fuck are you?

My name is Barney Stinson and I am supposed to be a giant ladies man even though I am to do with Neil Patrick Harris a giant gay and in my universe I believe I am the greatest person who has ever lived but I am really a giant loser.

You do seem to be a loser and out of interest all the storylines to do with you and the Bro Code begins funny and become boring and uninteresting.

A couple of minutes later Jessie is thinking to herself about her situation. Out of interest this happens every time I get marijuana I see characters from other TV shows and it is a concept I will get used to in the future.

The end


	2. Chapter 2

Sometime in the middle of 2010 Jessie is on her bed thinking to herself about her situation.

Out of interest today I am going to an office in Manhattan and that is to do with a job interview.

Later Jessie is in the office in Manhattan and she is thinking to herself about her situation. Out of interest I do not know how I feel about leaving the spoiled bitch children I work for and working at this place instead but I will probably get over it and out of interest at the moment I am getting ready to get interviewed by the owner of this office and hopefully the interview will do very well especially when it comes to me getting a job in this office.

Later the owner of the office whose name is Ted Mosby is talking to Jessie. Out of interest young lady I believe you want to be a secretary in my office.

That is correct and out of interest what is the concept of the job?

The concept of the job is you have to do paperwork and you have to get me coffee and some other things and out of interest are you interested in the job?

Yes and out of interest you are a very look man and because of that matter I am going to do this.

Then Jessie got completely naked and walked over to Ted Mosby and started talking to him.

Out of interest I am going to fuck you and then you are going to give me the job even though you have already done that.

I would let you fuck me but I have a girlfriend.

That is interesting and because of that interesting information I am not going to fuck you but I am going to start working here tomorrow. That is okay with me.

That is what I was going for.

The end


	3. Chapter 3

Sometime in the middle of 2010 sometime in the morning Jessie is on her bed in her bedroom talking to Ted Mosby on a telephone.

Out of interest later today I am going to begin working for you and because of that matter do I need to know anything?

There are a bunch of things you need to know that as

I love to talk about the history of buildings

I love to talk about the history of the building of particular buildings

I love particular things that you will find out more about when we become friends sometime in the future

I am looking for the perfect woman in the future and that particular perfect woman is not you so do not try to fuck me

I am not interested in fucking you so seriously do not try to

I could establish more information about myself but the rest of the information you will find out more about in the future.

That is a bunch of interesting information and I will probably find out more information about you in the future.

That is the right idea.

A couple of minutes later Jessie is thinking to herself about the conversation she just had.

Out of interest that particular man does not want me to fuck him but I probably will sometime in the future and by that I mean tomorrow and to go into more detail later today I am going to act as normal as any other secretary but tomorrow I am going to go into his office and I am going to fuck him.

The end


	4. Chapter 4

Sometime in the middle of 2010 in the office of Ted Mosby Ted Mosby is sitting at his desk doing paperwork about nothing in particular.

Out of interest in about 2 years in the future the 2012 Summer Olympics is going to happen in London like it was announced in 2005 and I am hoping I will be part of the building of it sometime later this year and out of interest the Queen of the United Kingdom Elizabeth II has been doing her job since 1952 and she had her coronation in 1953 and if she is still alive 2 years from now she will be celebrating her Diamond Jubilee/60th year as her particular job and I am probably going to be there when that happens and out of interest the Expo 2010 is going to open next April in China and I am probably going to be there when that happens and out of interest the 2010 Toronto International Film Festival is going to be next September and I am probably going to be there when that happens and out of interest later today my new secretary a teenage girl called Jessie is going to begin working here and that is probably going to be very good when she stop trying to fuck me and don't get me wrong she is very good looking and I could imagine myself fucking her but I am looking for the right woman who is going to become the future mother to my future children and I do not want to be 1 of those men like my friend Barney and fuck a number of women even if they are ugly and out of interest the teenage girl called Jessie seems to be a very nice girl apart from the matter that she wants to fuck me but that is just 1 of those things.

Later in the morning in the office of Ted Mosby Ted Mosby is sitting at his desk and he is talking to Jessie who is writing down everything he is saying.

Out of interest the concept of this day will be I get ready for a number of things that are going to happen in the future and probably will not concern me/involved me and I am planning on finding a perfect woman who is going to become the future mother to my future children/not you/not you in a fucking way.

You say that now but you realise it is going to happen in the future seriously in the future there is going to be a time when both of us get together in a fucking way.

I am telling you the relationship between both of us is good when we are a boss and his secretary who do not get together in a fucking way.

Okay but no matter what you say we are still going to get together in a fucking way sometime in the future especially when it comes to the near future and now I have to go outside because I am getting a telephone call on my phone.

Okay you might as well do that because I am getting a telephone call on my phone as well.

Then Jessie walked out of the room.

Outside of the room Jessie answered her phone.

Hello.

Hello Jessie this is Emma and I really want to talk to you.

What do you want to talk to me about?

I want to talk to you about the matter that at this particular moment I am completely mad at you to do with the matter that you are trying to leave us to get a job working for some stupid fucking fuck and because I am completely mad at you at this moment in time I am laying on your bed completely naked fucking-myself.

That is very interesting information and out of interest young lady you might as well finish fucking-yourself and then get dressed and then get the fuck off my bed and then go back to your own bedroom and then stay there because you are now grounded.

Fine I will do all of that stuff you just said but I am still completely mad at you and that will continue to go on until the end of forever and I do not mean that in a romantic way like it seems.

At the same time as Jessie is talking to Emma on her phone Ted Mosby is talking to a woman on his phone.

Hello.

Hello Ted this is Robin I really want to talk to you.

What do you want to talk to me about?

I want to talk to you about the matter that at this particular moment I am too busy fucking a number of people who are not you and that is because you are a stupid fucking fuck and you always have been and you always will be and that is seriously never going to change in the future.

I am sorry you feel that way.

I do not care what you think you stupid fucking fuck and that particular thing is never going to change in the future and because of that matter I am now never going to talk to you again and because of that matter I will now say my final words to you that are fuck you-you stupid fucking fuck.

Later in the bedroom of Ted Mosby Ted Mosby and Jessie are on his bed fucking with Jessie on top and at the moment she is shouting things out.

I told you we were going to get together in a fucking way and here we are doing it right now.

A couple of minutes later the fucking is still going on and because of that matter Jessie is still shouting things out. No matter what you say when we have finished fucking we are going to do it a number of times in the future.

A couple of minutes later the fucking is still going on and because of that matter Jessie is still shouting things out.

I really do like to get fucks even though I only started to get together with people in a fucking way in the beginning part of this year and no other years seriously I turned 18-years-old earlier this year and before I turned 18-years-old I never got together with anyone in a fucking way but there is no point over analysing that matter.

A couple of minutes later the fucking is still going on and because of that matter Jessie is still shouting things out.

I really love working for you especially because I can get away from my stupid job as a nanny to 4 fucking spoilt children especially a little teenage girl who telephoned me earlier today just tell me that she was masturbating on my bed just because she was mad at me to do with the matter that I am working for you instead of her all of the time and out of interest I have had sex with her as well but there is no point going into that particular lesbian fucking time.

A couple of minutes later the fucking is still going on and because of that matter Jessie is still shouting things out.

Out of interest I really love the future between me and you and fucking seriously in the future I could become the future mother to your future children.

In a Flash forward it is the year 2030 and the 2 future children are sitting and they are listening to the future version of Ted Mosby talking to them.

And that is how I got together with your mother in a fucking way for the 1st time.

The end


End file.
